Breaking News: White House Hires Baghdad Bob

According to sources close to the situation, the White House is preparing to announce the hiring of Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, aka Baghdad Bob, to handle public relations for the nomination of Harriet Miers. Al-Sahaf earned the respect of fellow public relations specialists for his service during the United States invasion of Iraq, faithfully serving his government by talking about the accomplishments of the Iraqi defense against the American infidels. His ability to replace evidence with propaganda without shedding a tear or cracking a smile is rivaled only by former infidel President William Jefferson Clinton.

The decision comes at a time when the White House is seeking to launch a Republican Guard-like defense of the Miers nomination. Although opposition forces have entered the White House, the administration continues to deny such reports. Some long-time allies have even turned their guns on their leader, feeling that he has abandoned them for his own selfish interest.

The White House decided that al-Sahaf's unique experience with a nearly identical situation makes him the best person to lead its press operation. Though he officially begins his work for the administration on Monday, most think that he played a role in crafting White House political director Sara Taylor's response to reports of conversations regarding a possible withdrawal. Taylor said that such reports are "absolutely not true". These words closely resemble al-Sahaf's words during the 2003 invasion: "They are not in Baghdad. They are not in control of any airport. I tell you this. It is all a lie! They lie! It is a Hollywood movie. You do not believe them!"

Sources say that the assignment is only temporary and that the White House expects results similar to those of the last crisis in which al-Sahaf was involved.